Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My garden feels abandoned

And so do my readers, I think.

There was a time when I could not imagine losing interest in my garden and in the blog that described it. Alas, life is full of curveballs that we don’t see coming. Mine was stress. Stress from caring for my much loved senior dog, Ellie, and stress from my job and my inability to keep the house presentable. In mid-August I decided to retire effective September 21st, and with broken hearts DH and I had the vet put Ellie to sleep on August 30th. If you’re a pet lover, I don’t need to tell you about the grief that ensued with the loss of my baby after sixteen and a half years. So here I am. In some ways better, and in some ways not quite there yet. The positive thing about having an ugly, weed-infested garden staring at you everyday – well, not everyday since without Ellie I have no reason to go outside – is that I have the rest of my life to make it beautiful, so I don’t have to rush or stress over it. Except that it really is ugly.

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Spurge has overrun my gravel.

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And has even invaded the beds where I was always johnny-on-the-spot to pull the little weed seedlings before they took hold.

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But there are things about which I am hopeful. This is my newest acquisition, ‘Stephen’s Big Purple’, an audacious rose to place on Ellie’s grave. This photo was taken two weeks ago, and now SBP has two flower buds.

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‘Hermosa’ was suddenly sprouting new canes two weeks ago and is now nice and leafy green and blooming.

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The ‘Purple Coneflowers’ are still setting flower buds, amazingly. They really have been bloom machines all summer and now in the fall.

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One of the ‘Clotilde Soupert’ bushes is lovely, green and blooming in spite of my neglect. The other one isn’t.

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I have tons of seed heads from all the echinacea plants that dominated the garden this year. I’m thinking they’d make great Christmas presents for half the world.

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There are several rose bushes in this photo, but you don’t see any roses, do you? Even accounting for my neglect, this was a very strange summer for the roses with all the rain we had. Maybe the roses were stressed, too. And maybe a little sad with me.

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It was a great summer for butterflies and bumble bees. Funny thing… yesterday with a bunch of weeds in my hand I felt an odd vibration going through my hand. After several moments of confusion I thought maybe I should drop the weeds. There on the gravel was the bumble bee I had picked up with the weeds. A very strange sensation that was.

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The Pentas performed beautifully on the front edge of the ‘Le Vesuve’ bed. I chose red for the sake of the butterflies, thinking it wouldn’t clash with the pink blooms of ‘Le Vesuve’ since the buds are red. Well, they did clash to my eye, but they were beautiful anyway and still are.

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‘Le Vesuve’ had a gorgeous bloom this day, but he has not had a good year. So much dieback and so few leaves and flowers. I wonder if I need to dig him up like I did ‘Mme Abel Chatenay’ and deeply re-excavate his bed. I fed him good yesterday and sprinkled him with fish. A bit of advice for you: do not apply fish emulsion and stay in the immediate area for several hours afterwards. Man, that is an obnoxious smell!

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The most wonderful addition to the garden this year was this dahlia, ‘Le Baron’. The two rhizomes I planted in spring grew big and beautiful, and they are still blooming! Through the heat and the wet of this monsoon summer their flowers never seemed to mind. One thing I’ll do differently next year is to place cheap tomato cages over the young plants, because they got so big they fell over onto ‘Full Moon Rising’ and baby ‘Maggie’. Fortunately, falling over didn’t seem to bother them though. They just sprouted new growth upward from the thick horizontal stems. If I can keep them tidy, these will be beautiful throughout the garden. They’re a deeper purple than my camera captures.

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So I’m off and running on this blog again. Thank you, Sunnync, for posting today on the Antique Roses Forum that you missed me. There’s no tellin’ how long I would have continued to procrastinate on this new beginning. Some of the upcoming topics I foresee in our future are weeds, making the decision to expel roses, rejiggering the garden (again), weeds, and probably more weeds. There's a lot of weeding ahead of me!

I long have believed that everything has a reason, so I’m thinking that someone out there is in this boat with me… not wanting to face up to a wreck of a garden and maybe even a little sad to boot. So lets see if we can’t squeeze a little (or a lot) of joy from this gardening thing and get the love back. Together I think we can do it. The keyword being together.

24 comments:

  1. You're right together my friend....with a little help here and a little help there, we can accomplish much and take "girlie" breaks in between! So much to look forward to~

    XXOO
    Cyd

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    1. Love those "girlie" breaks. And yes, forward I'm looking.

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  2. So sorry for your beloved dog, Sherry ... Don't worry about the garden and all those weeds, with a little time and patience everything well be fine, i'm sure :)
    Take care and think happy thoughts. Life is beautiful, my friend !
    Welcome back !

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    1. Thank you, Dani. Today I weeded the bed where Ellie's grave is and the path by it. Tomorrow maybe I'll plant her rose, but I have a big liriope to move and divide first, so we'll see. Thanks for the encouragement. It is much appreciated.

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  3. So glad to see you again Sherry. Sorry for the loss of your sweet Ellie. I look forward to seeing Stephen's Big Purple blooms.

    My gardens are ugly too. I've just gotten back into getting them into some sort of shape, but it's taking awhile after so much neglect.

    Now that the weather is getting a tad cooler I look forward to working outside more.

    Hugs ~ FlowerLady

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, FlowerLady. With the counsel of some wise gardening friends I'm realizing that Florida gardeners should go dormant with their garden in the heat of summer. It's NORMAL. Now we can more comfortably get our gardens in shape and looking beautiful again. My new view is that they didn't feel neglected since they were sleeping the whole time, ya think?

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  4. Sherry, it is good to see you here. I figured that life had nudged your blog, and probably your garden, out of the way for a while. I know how abandoned a garden can look when not tended regularly, but it was good of you to find beauty in the mayhem.

    I know how much it hurts about Ellie ... been there, done that, it never gets easier. It does, however, get less painful with the passage of time. I hope that time is helping to ease your soul, and that you begin to remember more happy things as the ache begins to fade.

    You said it ... you have time ... time to heal and time to whip your garden back into shape. Whatever you do here is a gift to those of us who love you. Take care of yourself first.
    Connie

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    1. So true, Connie. Life did nudge my blog and garden and everything. I'm finding that many gardeners have similar experiences, and I especially love how gardeners love their pets and comfort their gardening buddies in their grief for a precious pet now gone. Thanks for your sweet thoughts.

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  5. Welcome back Sherry. I, too, have been awol...more the heat than anything...but I still check everyone else's blogs and noticed you haven't posted in a while. So sorry to hear abt. Ellie. I know how difficult it is to lose a beloved pet member of the family, and 16 years is a long time. Our precious animals are so dear to our hearts. Now that you've picked yourself up and returned to the garden I do believe you'll find it very therapeutic. I look forward to seeing your beautiful roses with their large blooms this fall.

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    1. Susan, the heat will always get the best of us. August and September were made for air conditioning! Thank you for mentioning Ellie. I think you know how it feels to think the world revolves around a pet. Getting into the garden has been very helpful as have all my online friends. Thank you again!

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  6. I'm sorry to hear about Ellie. I hope time and your garden will help you to feel better.

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    1. Phillip, it's so kind of you to share my sadness for Ellie. I really do appreciate it. She was my baby.

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  7. Sherry, on one of my bike trips through town I found your beautiful garden a few months ago. It looked just like the picture on your blog. Absolutely beautiful. I stood there and took many pictures.
    I have not been back in your neighborhood since then, but did notice you had not posted for quite a while.
    Grief can make you lose interest in the things that you love to do, but your garden is waiting patiently for you. It will be just as beautiful as it was before. You can do it girl. Gardening is therapy and you will be healing as you pick up the pieces( and the weeds of your garden.)
    Wishing you all the best.

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    1. How cool, Meta, that you were right here AND that you liked my garden AND took pictures of it! You really put a big grin on my face. I wish I could have met you. Now that I'm retired and you know where I live, stop by some time again on your bike ride or without the bike. Thank you for the encouragement. The weeds are becoming fewer and fewer!

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  8. So sorry to hear about your Ellie. We too have a beagle that is getting on in years and we know the inevitable it coming. Gardens are resilient and like us bounce back quickly. It never ceases to amaze me to watch the roses bloom and grow without any help from me. I guess its true, we need them much more than they need us.... “Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
    Whispering 'it will be happier'...” ― Alfred Tennyson

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    1. I like that, Chris - hope smiles and it will be happier. Thank you, and do enjoy/love your beagle-baby to the uttermost.

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  9. So sorry for your loss, Sherry. It is certainly understandable to put the garden on hold for a while. I do that sometimes, too, and for no good reason. Your weeds look manageable. That is exactly what I am doing now - weeding, weeding, and more weeding! And congratulations on retirement - I hope you find that the extra time you now have for the garden uplifts you spirit and gives you peace.

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    1. Thank you, HolleyGarden. Extra time, more time, time at my own pace, no rush, no stress - it is definitely lifting my spirit, and I am finding peace and joy in it. Healing is an amazing thing.

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  10. Oh Sherry, I feel your pain and ennui with the garden...just look at how my post count decreased in September! But cooler fall weather helps here at least; I have a garden again, if only for a few weeks!

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    1. Well, I hope you are enjoying these few weeks to the fullest, Professor! I am enjoying the cooler weather, too. It makes the garden lovable again, and I will have with little or no break until next August. I guess it was only right that I should take a rest. Rest is good - even forced rest.

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  11. Hi Sherry,
    Yes, stress can be a big factor in one's life. I'm facing that exact thing, but I'm too young to retire. I have no time for my garden and it's on autopilot mode. Thankfully, I pick only plants that can do just that...stay on autopilot while I teach school.
    I'm so sorry about your wonderful pet. I lost my beloved family cat two years ago and I must say it was one of the worst days of my life to take it to the vet and say good-bye. I cried like a little baby that day and I'm not ashamed that I did. But, we must move on. I told my wife I would never have a cat that wonderful and intelligent ever again.
    And yet, we have two stray kittens now that need all the love one can possibly give. One of them is so gentle and sweet that I might have to eat my words. I may have found the perfect pet...for a second time. :0)
    You are such a nice person and any dog would be blessed to have you for an owner/keeper. Perhaps someday soon.
    Take care of those roses. A garden is the best place to overcome grief and to gain hope.
    David/:0)

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    1. David, I sympathize with you about your stressful job. I could feel it reading your words. At least you do have the comfort and assurance of knowing your garden won't suffer from your absence. That was wise planning. I hope relief from your stress is easier to find this year. I know we have to find a way to make it all work more peacefully. Thanks for sharing about your perfect pet cat #1. How amazing that we love them SO much. How wonderful that the stray kittens found you. Maybe one will find us, but for now it's just the two of us people in the house. Thank you for such kind words.

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  12. So sorry to hear about the loss of your pet. You have just written the story of my life and I can so relate and understand how you are feeling. We just lost our precious Pomeranian Foxie 4 months ago yesterday. It takes such a long time to heal from this type of loss, and I as well as you just lost interest in my garden through the long hot summer months. I just began weeding a bit when we had a few cool days, but I have many days of work ahead of me. I hope the cooler weather will inspire me to get my garden straightened out and get me out from under this funk I have been in for awhile. Sometimes we have to take the bad times with the good times, but this too shall pass. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Claire

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    1. Oh, Claire, I am sorry, too, that Foxie is gone from you. Getting out into the garden has helped me. Also getting back to the Antique Roses Forum has helped even more. All of the wonderful rosy friends there have raised my interest again and, even more importantly, my excitement. The front garden has been weeded, fed, a few daylilies planted, one rose moved out and a new one moved in, and annuals planted. It needs mulch. One side was weeded a few days ago, and today I moved into the back, weeding the beds and gravel paths, cutting back perennials, and deadheading coneflowers. I got about half of it done. It's still not pretty by a long shot, but at least it's not so ugly. I'm working at it more purposefully now, knowing I still have a long way to go. Hopefully, now that you're back in the garden, beginning to see improvements, it will become a happier place for you. I know for me it was almost a no-man's land before. Thank you for your prayers. You will be in mine also, Claire.

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